Draco, the Housewife
by kmou
Summary: Meet Draco Malfoy-Potter, the Housewife. H/D Slash! Complete. Crackfic!


**Title:** Draco, the Housewife (1/1)

**Author:** Kylie / gryffindorkylie

**Pairings:** Harry/Draco SLASH

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** Meet Draco Malfoy-Potter, the Housewife.

**Type:** Short-Short Fic?, 1, 413 words

**Category(s):** M/M, Romance, Fluff, Comedy/Humor.

**Warnings:** This chapter contains content that may be offensive such as m/m sex. Also contains spoilers (for all the Harry Potter books).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any other character, location, or whatever mentioned in the works of J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** Ugh, my first Fluff? fic. I realize that Draco is OOC here but he's my OOC Draco! Thank you Krista & Tarallynne Moon for beta-ing this story for me. :)

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**Draco, the Housewife (1/1):**

"Draco, I'm off to work now" said Harry as he buttoned up his coat.

Draco came running out of the kitchen in a pink apron with a kitty on it. "Bye honey, have a great day at work!" he said, after planting a smooch on Harry's cheek. Then he was off, back to the kitchen, where he was baking a cake.

Harry laughed at the sight of Draco. God, how 1950's his life was. This was their routine. Draco would stay home, clean the flat, cook, look good, and be his sex slave (_or was it the other way around?_). Harry would go off to work, make money, come home tired, find food on the table, and make love to Draco 'til the sun comes up. He almost wished that he had kept in touch with Colin Creevey. Maybe then, Colin could have taken a picture of Draco in his pink kitty apron with flour on his cheeks. He then apparated to work, the Ministry of Magic. Harry had taken over the job of Minister of Magic not long after Cornelius Fudge had been founded guilty of aiding Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

"Hello Mr. Potter" said Emelia, Harry's secretary, in a blue sweater and black skirt. She greeted Harry with a smile and a large cup of coffee. Her fingers brushed against his and he forced a smile onto his face, thanked her and took a sip. He shivered as he felt the hot liquid flow down his throat to his stomach, then noticed that Emelia's body was slightly pressed up against his.

"When did Mr. Delfino say he would be able to fix the floo in my office?" asked Harry, shifting away from Emelia. His floo network had broken down, and nobody knew how to fix it. With his floo network broken, he was unable to floo or have people floo in. The Ministry had to call in a Floo specialist.

"Tomorrow" she said, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Harry forced another smile, feeling uncomfortable with Emelia's flirting. He didn't want to fire her. She was a damn good secretary. It was a good thing that she hadn't met Draco yet or Draco would've strangled her with his bare hands. With that, he went into his office. He pulled his coat around him tighter and shivered as the cold wind blew against his body and his cheeks quickly reddened. He cast a warming spell around himself and took off his coat. He sat down and looked out the window. Snow had been pouring from the sky all week. Christmas would soon be here.

He opened his desk drawer and found the jewelry box. He flicked it open, and there laid a beautiful locket of a dragon with emerald eyes engraved onto it. Inside was a picture of Harry and Draco's wedding kiss. He couldn't wait to see Draco's face when he gave him this locket.

Hours passed. Harry swore that his coffee became a block of ice. Emelia came into his office, wearing a tank top with her breasts almost spilling out of it. She had also retouched her make-up. She placed her hands on his desk and leaned over, giving him an eyeful of her rack.

"Mr. Potter, would you like me to get you _anything_... for lunch?" she said, leaning forward even more.

Then with a _pop!_, there was Draco behind Emelia, looking sexy as ever. He was wearing a black cashmere sweater with tight black jeans and holding a lunchbox.

"Hello Harry, thought I'd stop by and bring you some lunch!" said Draco, cheerily, not noticing Emelia yet.

Harry's eyes flew from Draco, back to Emelia as Draco's eyes became slits. '_Uh oh..._' thought Harry.

"Who are you?" growled Draco, walking past Emelia, looking at her up and down.

"I'm Emelia Parker, Mr. Potter's secretary... and who are you?" she said, giving Draco a nasty glare.

"I'm Mr. Pot- Harry's husband" replied Draco, glaring at her with a smirk.

Harry watched the sparks shoot out of their eyes at each other. He gulped, rose from his seat, and walked over to Draco. Harry greeted him with a kiss and took the lunch box out of Draco's hand and placed it on his desk. Draco responded, giving Harry the sloppiest, most tongue-filled-duel kiss ever in front of Emelia. God, he loved Draco so much. Draco pinched Harry's arse, which resulted in him letting out a small yelp, causing Emelia to leave with a '_humph!_'

Harry broke the kiss and pecked Draco on the cheek. He wrapped his arm around Draco's waist, resting his head against Draco's broad shoulders. "How's my little housewife?" he asked with a huge smile.

"I was fine 'til I met your _secretary_ an- HEY, I am not a housewife!" Draco shouted. He spat out the word '_secretary_'.

Harry laughed and pinched Draco's cheek. "You know, if anyone else did that, they would be dead right?"

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not anyone else" Harry said. He withdrew his arms from Draco's and sat back down on his seat, opening the lunch box. The aroma of Draco's cake filled the air.

"Draco, you realize cake isn't lunch right?"

"Well, I'm _sorry_ if I've been too busy baking the cake to make anything else! Now eat!"

Harry rolled his eyes and took a bite. The next thing he knew, he was practically orgasming from the cake. It was _that_ good!

"Harry, is that drool coming out the side of your mouth? ... Harry?"

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**Christmas Day:**

Harry had sent everyone at the Ministry home- it was Christmas time, after all. He, however, stayed late to finish up some quick paperwork. Draco wouldn't let him come home until he was done setting up for the Christmas party. Everyone would be there- Ron, Hermione, Molly, Arthur, Fred and George, Ginny, Percy, Bill, and Charlie- the whole Weasley family. They were his family- his and Draco's.

He grabbed his coat with some papers tucked under his arm and apparated back home. The whole Weasley family greeted him. He was apparently late and Draco wasn't too happy about that.

"Christmas, Harry! Christmas, and you're late!" yelled Draco with his hands on his hips.

"I'm sorry, I lost track of time" he replied.

"You're just lucky that we're wizards and I can cast a warming charm on the food!"

"Awww, my little housewife is angry..."

"I am NOT a housewife!"

"You SO are! You cook, you clean, you're very bossy about things being moved, and you're- Oh My God! You're Monica!"

"What? Monica? Who's Monica? Another one of your _secretaries_?" sneered Draco.

"No, Monica Gellar from Friends!"

"Friends?"

"You know, that muggle TV show!"

"You mean the one about the 6 friends who do nothing but sit in a coffee shop, drink coffee, pissing and moaning?"

"Yeah, something like that..."

"Wait, Monica is the- HEY! I am not her!"

"You are SO her!" teased Harry while Draco glared at him. Something caught Draco's eyes, however.

"HEY YOU! Fred or George, or whoever you are, put that back! No, don't put it there, move it a little to the right. NOT all the way to the right! Now move it left. Damn it, can't you do anything right? Weasel bean, use a coaster! You're making water rings all over my table!"

"God, it's like I'm dating her. Hey, I'm straight then!" cackled Harry as he took off into the living room.

"W-WHAT?! POTTER!" yelled Draco, chasing after him.

"Great news guys, Draco is actually a woman and I'm straight!" shouted Harry at the Weasleys.

And the Weasleys clapped and congratulated Harry while Draco stomped his feet, trying to tell them he's not a woman and Harry's not straight.

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**Later that evening:**

Harry handed Draco his present after everyone had left. He hoped they got home safe. They all had looked a little drunk. Harry made a note to owl them to see that they got home safely.

Draco looked at the box and opened it with a click. He took the locket out of the box and opened it. Harry watched as Draco's eyes filled with tears. The next thing he knew was he was being pounced on, smothered with kisses.

"I love it so much! I love you!"

"Want to show me how much you love me?" asked Harry with a wink.

With that, Draco was leading him into their bedroom where they made love 'til the sun came up.

**The End.**

**Review please!**


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